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Family Group Record for Henry Jackson Stiefel

Husband: Henry Jackson Stiefel

AKA: Jack
Born: 5 Apr 1862 - Georgia
Died: 8 Jan 1910 - Alabama
Buried:  - Mt. Zion Baptist Church, Fyffe, Alabama
Father: James Stiefel
Mother: Mary Powell
Marriage: 18 Nov 1886                    
Place: Dekalb County Alabama

Wife: Nancy Jane Harris

Born: 3 Mar 1867
Died: 20 Oct 1954 - Alabama
Buried:  - Mt. Zion Baptist Church, Fyffe, Alabama
Father: Ezekiel A. Harris (1878-1958)
Mother: Caroline

10 Children


Honor your parents

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you”  Deuteronomy 5:16 NIV  The implication of not obeying this commandment is a life where things do not go well and your days are shortened.  Obviously not the route any of us would take if we truly understood the verse or were even aware of its existence.  The sin of not honoring our parents traps us through deception and our built in desire to protect ourselves.   

When we were created by God, he gave us a need to have resolution when we are wronged.  In fact anger and hurt are God given responses to emotional wounding they are signals there is a problem that needs to be addressed.  However, our dysfunctional families taught us to stuff our feelings and hide our real problems.   Our dysfunctional patterns taught us “don’t talk about it don’t tell it”, ‘this idea was communicated to us by stories, explanations of family “strengths”, or directly spoken to us.   We are not supposed to talk about the things that hurt us, so we stuffed our feelings or acted out.

 

The truly regrettable fact is when we are not allowed to deal with our emotions in a healthy way we will deal with them in an unhealthy way.  The sin of not honoring your parents has the same consequence regardless of the reasoning we may have for why we dishonored.   We have to remember that we are responsible for our own actions if we want to be free we have to give up our right to be the victim.   This was the hardest concept for me to get, it angered me to think about letting my parents off the hook.  I felt I had a right to be angry what was done to me was wrong.  I had to come to the point where I realized my parents did the best they could do.  Part of the discipline of becoming Christ-like is denying self, the only way I could begin to accept that I was going to have to forgive my parents and accept the responsibility for my sin in the relationship regardless of my parents’ response was through the power of Christ.   The only way I could do what I needed to do was to allow Christ to do it through me.

 

You will progress through the process of healing as you begin to grasp the following principles and put them to work in your life.

 
  1. Develop a relationship with God.
  2. Take responsibility for your own sin, don’t blame others.
  3. Practice forgiveness; forgive as an act of your will, if that is all you have.
  4. Remember it took a while for your life to get messed up don’t expect overnight change.
 

Questions

 
  1. Did the concept “don’t talk don’t tell” sound true for your childhood?
  2. How did your parents discipline or lack there of make you feel?
  3. Were you allowed to express your feelings or hurts in your family?
  4. Did you consistently react with honor or dishonor toward your parents?
  5. Have you recognized a dysfunctional pattern in you relationships with significant others?